How To Lose A Bracket in 2 Days

Yes, it’s that time of year again.

Yes, I used a cheesy romcom to create the title of this post.

 

Now that we’ve gotten that out the way let’s move on to these brackets. In previous years I’ve given some sleepers which did just that and I’ve given some in-depth thoughts which led to much of nothing. So this time I’m telling you what NOT to do. Some of y’all have already filled out 16 brackets – mistake #1 – and after reading this; you will change some of those picks (mistake #2 but carry on). We don’t know if this tournament will be wide open or if it’ll follow suit as we watch the powerhouse teams march to the Final Four.

Alright I’ve already told you 2 things NOT to do but I’m sure you’ll do them anyway so here are a few more pointers. Do NOT take this bracket stuff serious. Even if you really want to beat the annoying coworker in your office don’t let him/her throw you off. You know why, cause some person that hasn’t watched a minute of College Basketball will win that office pool. Why??? Cause they’re smart enough to let someone that watches pick for them or they do something simple like pick the teams with nice mascots. *Those of you that have money riding on this thing will get more info later. Another common mistake is asking others “what they think?” Don’t do it! Reconsider! Read some literature on the subject (I don’t advise reading anything about this tournament but if) you’re sure then…yeah. Next and most importantly not least. Do not listen to or watch any sports shows!!! This will definitely have you with a broke, busted, and disgusted bracket. Only reason to listen or watch is if they’re speaking about an injured player. They’ll tell you about some team from some Conference that you’ve never heard of and then you’ll be staring at those 16 brackets again. At that point you’re lost in the sauce. See Gucci Mane if you need an explanation for what that means.

Ok money-makers, now it’s time for me to get through to you all. You won’t have a perfect bracket. I repeat…You Won’t Have A Perfect Bracket. But you will have a chance to cash in if you’re smart. Do NOT pick with your heart. Just don’t do it! I know you hate/love Duke or UNC. I know you think Coach Cal is overrated. I know you hate the Big Ten but be smart when making these picks. Another smart move is to NOT dwell on a pick. If you think long then you think wrong. This isn’t a school test so don’t sit there like it is a quantum physics mid term exam. I don’t encourage “double checking” but if you insist on doing this then don’t go changing all of your picks. Again this is not a test. My other tip for you money people is to not make more than 2 or 3 brackets. For instance, if you create a bracket on ESPN and then do one on Yahoo! then use the same picks. Don’t mix and match. That will leave you sad and upset when you realize you could’ve picked “Team A” on both sites instead of switching up.

Finally we are at the fun part. I’ve told you all what not to do but I haven’t given my Final Four picks. In the East, I have Villanova. The defending champs will be in Phoenix ready to defend their title. Do you know what State Phoenix is in? Yep, Arizona and that’s who will come out of the West Region. Sean Miller finally reaches the Final Four. From the Midwest I have Kansas. Bill Self will have these dudes ready to go on a run after that disappointing Big 12 Tournament appearance. And out of the South, I have North Carolina. Tar Heel fans I apologize in advance because your team is my pick to win it all. When things get shaky and it doesn’t look like UNC will win just remember “The ceiling is the roof”…the GOAT told us that. Enjoy March Madness folks because it may quickly turn into March Sadness.

 

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